You know the phrase less is more? Sometimes silence is more. At least during sex.
1. My dad said …
Stop right there. No one cares about what your dad said. Unless you’re talking about a different kind of daddy, then that word does not exist for the next ten minutes (or more if you have a keeper).
2. Is it in yet?
Don’t say it. Like, obviously.
3. What are we?
Well, you’re two people having sex. Whatever more you could be or not be, you’ll find out later. You’ll never get an honest answer during the act anyway. Also, we’ve heard it’s a real mood killer. Like, from a friend of a friend.
4. Remember my friend …
Speaking of friends. If he does remember your friend, do you really want him to think about her now?
5. This is so much better than …
Than what? Last time you had sex? Sex with your ex? If you want to compliment him on his improvement, then we’ll suggest that you wait until after. Let him feel like a king for now, and don’t remind him of his previous failures. If you were about to say something about your ex, then just stop. You know better than that.
6. My mom always …
No, mom is not allowed here either.
7. You suck.
Another obvious one, right? Well, unless you’re into the hate sex thing. Maybe this is a fire starter then.
8. Do you even like me?
Again, now is not the time to find out. He clearly likes you enough to have sex with you. This means he prefers you over all other human beings at the moment. Save the emotional confrontation for later.
9. We should just be friends.
Great! Good for you. Maybe you’re the one, who doesn’t want to be serious. Break the person’s heart before or after sex, not during.
10. Can we just get it over with?
Wow. We’re trying to find a situation where this would be okay. Maybe if you went on for hours, you’re sore and you already came, but still though – don’t say it like that.
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